[B5JMS] You ain't gonna believe this one, folks (OR: Why, Oh Why Did I

[b5jms at cs.columbia.edu]

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From: Anson Macdonald <anson_macdonald at comcast.net>
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:26:41 +0000 (UTC)
Lines: 49

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I need at least a couple of theories to explain *this* one.

Theory #1: As Spider Robinson would say, "God is an Iron."  That is, if 
a burglar commits a burglary, if an adulterer commits adultery...then 
God is an Iron.

Theory #2: Movie producers are generally idiots.  Granted, that's hardly 
news, but Harlan Ellison has a favorite anecdote to illustrate the 
point.  Some time ago, he had a friend who worked for a studio as the 
person who "greenlights" film projects.  She called Mr. Ellison on the 
phone because she just *had* to share a juicy tidbit.  A Big Name 
Producer had just left her office, he had pitched several film ideas to 
her.  The one idea the producer was really fired up over was: Let's 
remake "The Wiz"...white!

Still with me? Good, because as I said, I wish I had photographic 
evidence of this, but I'm sure several of you will be visiting your 
local Costco soon.

The DVD of the 2004 film I, Robot was released today, and it is 
available at Costco.  A copy of "the original screenplay" is included 
with the disc as a value-added item.  The credits at www.imdb.com say 
that the screen story was written by Jeff Vintar, and the screenplay was 
written by Jeff Vintar Akiva Goldsman, "suggested by the book" by Isaac 
Asimov.

(sing-song, teasing voice) But that's not what's in the box...

What's in the box is a copy of *HARLAN ELLISON'S SCREENPLAY* I kid you 
not! *NOW THAT'S...COMEDY!*

Theory #3: Perhaps someone connected to the film who was as angry as I 
was at the bowdlerization of another fine science fiction book snuck it 
in under the radar, so to speak.  Yeah, that works, too.

Assuming anybody who buys (or receives for Christmas) this particular 
box set, I imagine the reader will be pissed because it doesn't match 
the movie he saw, or he will be pissed because it's *better* than the 
"Sturgeonian" 90% he paid 8 bucks for at the movie theater.

I laughed so hard, my stomach hurts.



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From: jmsatb5 at aol.com (Jms at B5)
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 00:04:28 +0000 (UTC)
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For more info go to:

http://harlanellison.com/heboard/unca.htm


 jms

(jmsatb5 at aol.com)
(all message content (c) 2004 by synthetic worlds, ltd., 
permission to reprint specifically denied to SFX Magazine 
and don't send me story ideas)