ATTN JMS: Save me from Trek merchandize, please!

B5JMS Poster b5jms-owner at
Thu Jan 1 06:43:22 EST 1998

From: "Lee E. Heller" <leeheller at>
Date: 30 Dec 1997 22:06:44 -0700
Lines: 42

Dear Master of the Universe <G>:

I know that you have been very careful to grant merchandize licenses for B5
products, and I'm glad that that has prevented B5 from showing up in
ticky-tacky form as Xmas tree ornaments, cheesy collector's plates, and the
like.  On the other hand, I sure as hell would like it if more B5 stuff
showed up in mail order catalogs, so that I might be saved the annual influx
of tasteless Trek gifts from friends and family.

I've been a Trek fan for nigh on 15 years, and in that time have been given,
among other things:  a telephone in the shape of the Enterprise (okay, it's
cool that the nacelles lit up when it rang, and the ringer sounded like a
red alert siren, but still. . . .); an unbelievably badly tailored "command"
uniform shirt; and most recently, a Federation-insignia-shaped pin which,
when you touch it, blinks in various futuristic patterns reminiscent of Orac
from "Blake's 7."  I sold the phone at my last tag sale, gave the shirt to a
student I had never met who happened to hear me describing it in the library
one day, and, well, I'm still trying to figure out who to grace with the pin.

So, what was my best Christmas gift this year?  A friend who is a con-goer
bought me a small piece of art work--a pencil sketch panel by Jean Kluge,
about 3"h by 8"w, representing the faces of each of the major B5 characters.
It immediately went up on my fridge (the place I frequent most, after the
bathroom).  If there were more B5 stuff out there, where my non-fannish
friends could see it, they could send me *that* stuff, and spare me another
year of tedious Trekkiana.  I long for a day when, instead of being
identified as a "Trekker" or a science fiction fan, I can call myself a
"Fiver" and have everyone recognize the term--and buy me appropriate goodies!

*  Lee E. Heller, Ph.D.                                                 *
*  Hamilton & Associates Educational Consultants			*
*  P.O. Box 50724   Santa Barbara CA  93150				*
*  (805)969-4025    fax (805)969-0215   leeheller at	*			*
*									*
*  "The past tempts us, the present confuses us, and the future		*
*   frightens us, and our lives slip away, moment by moment, lost	*
*   in that vast, terrible in-between."					*
*			--"The Coming of Shadows," Babylon 5		*

From: jmsatb5 at (Jms at B5)
Date: 31 Dec 1997 09:03:00 -0700
Lines: 8

We'll be doing more stuff, gradually...I'd just prefer to do this stuff slowly,
and do it right, than dump a whole lotta stuff out at once.


(jmsatb5 at
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